One of the greatest sabotagers is expectation.
We spend so much time creating an expectation or an outcome to a situation that we close the door to any other possibilities for success.
For years, I felt a "transformational" experience looked a certain way.
I felt like you went through some kind of emotional experience (likened to walking into another room, letting it all out), express how you felt, and then on the other side of that you felt better.
Easy, peasy, right?
Well, except for the harder stuff, but essentially that was the formula for 'transforming', wasn't?
The harder stuff just meant spending a tad bit more time letting it all out, but in essence the same as the experience I shared above.
I mean seriously, how hard could it be?
After all I had seen other people who had gone through some form of transformation, i.e., spiritual, relationship, and weight loss. You know the biggies---and they seemed to have fared well.
Yes, money is a biggie, and yet money doesn't feel nearly as personal as spiritual, relationships, and body image.
Except for when money has equated to how you feel about yourself, then it's indeed personal.
Anyway, I digress.
So where do these concepts come from of how we're suppose to transform?
For myself, I can tell you they were all made up in my head because I was too proud to ask anyone.
After all I didn't want to look weak or seem like I didn't have my shit together, which I didn't, which most could see, but were probably to afraid to say anything because I defended myself fiercely.
Besides having my own concept, I also did a lot of research on the subject matter, and do you know what I discovered? It aligned with what I believed.
Leave it to Dr. Google to be as sharp as I was.
How could that be?
Because our unconscious mind aka subconscious mind aka inner critic is always aligning us with our beliefs----even if consciously we think or know they are unhealthy for us. (Read that again---fully digest.)
Because we haven't 'transformed' those beliefs through a process of identifying, evaluating, and recalibrating.
We keep working off our existing data even when searching to replace or upgrade our data. (Read that again---fully digest.)
Let me give you an example of what I'm talking about.
We have been conditioned for many, many, mannnnny years that if you weigh a specific number on the scale and it's within a specific range then we are labelled certain things i.e., skinny, normal, overweight, obese, etc.
As part of our conditioning that has been adopted through our belief system, our inner critic when it sees the number on the scale instantly labels us according to what we've been taught.
So, now lets say you decide the number on the scale is too high, which labels you overweight or obese, you set out to lose that number.
You set out week one---and do great.
Week two---kinda feeling like poop because you're detoxing your body, and shifting the way you had been doing things and you're kinda grumpy about it, but you're still following your new plan.
Oh, and did I mention, you keep stepping on the scale every few days to see if there's been a shift already? You know the signs of "transformation".
Week three--you aren't seeing the number change like it did the first week, and now you're starting to question yourself and your choices, but keep going.
Week four--that scale isn't budging much and because of that you can't even see that your clothes are starting to not look like a cling-on or like the "strangler".
I don't know about you, but I've definitely had my fair share of stranglers that I blamed getting that way because of the damn dryer.
I think dryers try to eat your clothes and so far they've only been successful with socks.
Anyway, I keep getting sidetracked....lol
If you've made it to week 5 or month 5, and the scale number has barely budged in your favor and you're still determined GOOD FOR YOU.
I can tell you, though, most aren't able to or willing to be that determined.
Not because of lack of will power, but rather a bigger obstacle standing in their way then that number on the scale.
It's a belief.
Somewhere deep within that unconscious mind is a belief that trumps all other beliefs, obstacles, intellect, and emotions.
This belief is so protective of itself because it's had a lifetime of housing and protecting itself, which makes it nearly undetectable to you.
Even if you are aware of it, reaching it, healing it, and transforming it into something that serves you and your highest wellness can be illusive and stubborn because you've nurtured it so well.
Even with all the data that has been uncovered regarding fat loss being the goal over a number on a scale, people are more concerned with that number then their optimal health.
I'll give you a personal example.
As the number on my clothes grew over the years, I'd say things like, "they don't make clothes like they use too" or "I know somehow this is conspiracy to somehow trick the consumer, by changing the size labels".
I just knew it was in the manufacturing, and not me because my weight has been the same for countless years.
Fast forward to this year, and when I try on clothes that are 2, 3, and in some cases 4 times smaller than what I was wearing.
My inner critic Trudy went NUTS!!!!!
She just could not accept the fact that this was happening.
Because the number on the scale hasn't changed.
It mattered not that there was obvious evidence that stated otherwise because she had a belief that the number on the scale was the weight god.
It's hard to fight against a limiting belief.
It's hard to transform against a limiting belief.
It's hard to love yourself against a limiting belief.
Even understanding the "hards" of a limiting belief is NOT enough to transform.
Even understanding the difference between weight loss and fat loss is NOT enough to transform if a limiting belief hasn't been transformed.
Having enough will power is NOT enough to transform a limiting belief into a healthy, loving, serving belief.
So, I'd like you to give yourself a break and absorb all this information, and understand you aren't a failure. You just may have a limiting belief that's causing you to fail at all your valor attempts.
If you can relate to my weight loss example/story, and desire to move past previous failed attempts, then I'm going to ask you to get in touch with me.
Together we can tame your inner critic, and create the type of successful transformation that sets you on a journey that you've only dreamt of.