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Reflection

July 15, 2019

Reflection

 

What does that mean to you?

 

When you catch your reflection in the mirror or in a window, what’s your first reaction?

 

Do you quickly turn away?

Do you scrutinize it, and judge every imperfection?

Do you avoid making the connection at all?

Do you stop, pause, and just observe?

 

Looking back on my own life I can honestly tell you, I’ve done all the above.

 

Here's the interesting thing. It was easy to avoid, runaway, or even harshly judge myself in a mirror or window, and yet I never connected the "reflective" component in my relationships (work, friendship, family, romantic), yet the same outcome played out. 😲

 

Depending on where I was emotionally that would reflect back to me and I would react accordingly.

 

React with shame

React with guilt

React with disgust

React with hate

React with self-loathing

React with fear

React with anxiousness

React with sadness

 

Can you imagine how much I avoided my reflection?

 

God forbid someone would capture a picture of me because if I saw that image I would scrutinize and judge that girl so HARSHLY.

 

Did she have talent? Yes

Was she smart? Yes

Was she resourceful? Yes

Was she funny? Yes

Was she a good friend, family member, co-worker, romantic partner? In a sense, Yes.

 

Yet because of her lack of self-worth, shame, and depression, which they could see along with all her positive qualities she couldn’t see, made her not fully present or available for these relationships. 😲

 

The thing is we are a compound of ALL our qualities-----the “good” and the “bad”.

 

Sometimes we get stuck in the “bad”, and that creates an imbalance in our own ecosystem.

 

We can get stuck in that disruption for YEARS. 😲

 

I can tell you the longer I stayed “stuck” in that disruption, even though I wasn’t actually consciously aware of it, the longer life seemed HARD.

 

The longer life seemed hard, difficult, challenging, unfair the more I produced results that reflected the same.😲

(Read that again---sound familiar?)

 

I lost friends because of this way of living.

I lost romantic interest because of this way of living.

I lost opportunities for promotions, career advancements, and even a job because of this way of living.

I lost my will to take care of my physical body----I treated it so poorly even though it was the one constant that remained with me throughout all the imbalances.

 

There’s a point we reach when once again our reflection presents itself, and you capture it----unexpectedly, no doubt, but nonetheless you catch it.

 

And there’s a moment of pause……likened to standing at a crossroads…..and you have to make a decision on which direction to go.

 

You see, there is no “right” or “wrong” decision because it’s your life and you are free to choose.

 

And yet during these pivotal moments we have throughout our lives, call them synchronicities, God moments, come to Jesus moments, coincidences, or happenstance, they occur and we are given opportunities.

 

How awesome is that!?!?!?!

 

How many times have you ran into someone from your past, and upon catching up you realize the person you are talking to is still talking about all the troubles they have, all the things that aren’t going right, the “woes” me, all the missed opportunities, miss fortunes, and it triggers something in you?

 

What does it trigger?

 

Depression?

Frustration?

Disgust?

Irritation?

Sympathy?

 

These triggers more often than not are a reflection of how you internally feel about yourself and where you are in your life.

 

These, pain in the ass, triggers are beautiful signals from your inner critic desiring to help you heal.

 

Heal past wounds of;

insecurity

self-doubt

unworthiness

not being good enough

invisibility

not being lovable

not being desirable

not being smart enough

 

We are in one of the moments right now where we are being given an opportunity to reflect and heal----should you so choose.

 

Choosing to heal does not necessarily mean you know how; it merely means you are open to making a shift towards your wellness.

 

Taking action towards it is the next step. It’s a step I congratulate you on taking, and would love to help you take it.

#innercritictamer

#mindsetcoach

#strengthinsensitivity

 

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