Reflection
Reflection
What does that mean to you?
When you catch your reflection in the mirror or in a window, what’s your first reaction?
Do you quickly turn away?
Do you scrutinize it, and judge every imperfection?
Do you avoid making the connection at all?
Do you stop, pause, and just observe?
Looking back on my own life I can honestly tell you, I’ve done all the above.
Here's the interesting thing. It was easy to avoid, runaway, or even harshly judge myself in a mirror or window, and yet I never connected the "reflective" component in my relationships (work, friendship, family, romantic), yet the same outcome played out. 😲
Depending on where I was emotionally that would reflect back to me and I would react accordingly.
React with shame
React with guilt
React with disgust
React with hate
React with self-loathing
React with fear
React with anxiousness
React with sadness
Can you imagine how much I avoided my reflection?
God forbid someone would capture a picture of me because if I saw that image I would scrutinize and judge that girl so HARSHLY.
Did she have talent? Yes
Was she smart? Yes
Was she resourceful? Yes
Was she funny? Yes
Was she a good friend, family member, co-worker, romantic partner? In a sense, Yes.
Yet because of her lack of self-worth, shame, and depression, which they could see along with all her positive qualities she couldn’t see, made her not fully present or available for these relationships. 😲
The thing is we are a compound of ALL our qualities-----the “good” and the “bad”.
Sometimes we get stuck in the “bad”, and that creates an imbalance in our own ecosystem.
We can get stuck in that disruption for YEARS. 😲
I can tell you the longer I stayed “stuck” in that disruption, even though I wasn’t actually consciously aware of it, the longer life seemed HARD.
The longer life seemed hard, difficult, challenging, unfair the more I produced results that reflected the same.😲
(Read that again---sound familiar?)
I lost friends because of this way of living.
I lost romantic interest because of this way of living.
I lost opportunities for promotions, career advancements, and even a job because of this way of living.
I lost my will to take care of my physical body----I treated it so poorly even though it was the one constant that remained with me throughout all the imbalances.
There’s a point we reach when once again our reflection presents itself, and you capture it----unexpectedly, no doubt, but nonetheless you catch it.
And there’s a moment of pause……likened to standing at a crossroads…..and you have to make a decision on which direction to go.
You see, there is no “right” or “wrong” decision because it’s your life and you are free to choose.
And yet during these pivotal moments we have throughout our lives, call them synchronicities, God moments, come to Jesus moments, coincidences, or happenstance, they occur and we are given opportunities.
How awesome is that!?!?!?!
How many times have you ran into someone from your past, and upon catching up you realize the person you are talking to is still talking about all the troubles they have, all the things that aren’t going right, the “woes” me, all the missed opportunities, miss fortunes, and it triggers something in you?
What does it trigger?
Depression?
Frustration?
Disgust?
Irritation?
Sympathy?
These triggers more often than not are a reflection of how you internally feel about yourself and where you are in your life.
These, pain in the ass, triggers are beautiful signals from your inner critic desiring to help you heal.
Heal past wounds of;
insecurity
self-doubt
unworthiness
not being good enough
invisibility
not being lovable
not being desirable
not being smart enough
We are in one of the moments right now where we are being given an opportunity to reflect and heal----should you so choose.
Choosing to heal does not necessarily mean you know how; it merely means you are open to making a shift towards your wellness.
Taking action towards it is the next step. It’s a step I congratulate you on taking, and would love to help you take it.