Misguided and Misunderstood

It saddens my heart to think some have been either misguided or have a misunderstanding of the healing process associated with releasing baggage aka limiting beliefs (emotional wounds).

I've worked with quite a number of individuals who feel somehow not good enough, not smart enough, or not hardworking enough because unexpected moments or events in their lives triggered emotional responses they previously dealt with and have had come up again.

So often when asking a client to describe their understanding of healing they will compare it to a physical wound that has healed. Example: A cut on the arm builds a protective layer of tissue (scab) in order for new skin to generate, ultimately sealing the cut and healing the area.

If we equate this same healing towards our emotional baggage or limiting beliefs then why are we still “triggered” unexpectedly in the future?

I would propose pondering these additional questions:

-->Will a cut on the arm truly heal if you leave it untreated and unclean before the scabbing process?

-->Will a cut on the arm heal if it’s constantly being picked at while it’s attempting to heal?

-->Will a cut on the arm unattended and ignored completely heal healthy and whole?

There are many undoubtedly who will want to argue these examples or defend their beliefs on how they think a cut on an arm will heal, and those arguments and defending beliefs reveal so much.

If we stay a little longer on the example of our physical bodies in conjunction to our emotional bodies, we can look at the physical makeup of the skin tissue of the physical body and clearly learn it has multiple layers that serve various purposes in the designing of our flesh. Just as our physical body is made up of multiple layers of tissue or emotional body is equally designed with multiple layers.

When we are “triggered” by something (a trigger being something that sparks an emotional reaction in us), and are asked to describe the feeling that comes up from that trigger, the initial response often has to do with a recent situation or event.

When working with a counselor, therapist, or a mindset coach there’s a process we go through to safely support and walk a client through pulling back the emotional layers to get to the core wound (trigger).

While a client pulls back these emotional layers at a speed they are willing and comfortable doing, counselors, therapists or coaches hold safe space for this healing process. Note: all layers will need to be removed until the core wound is located and healed.

Working through the layers of our emotional wounds requires patience, willingness, and new ways of being. Just like a cut on the arm, you cannot clean the wound, wait for the scab to fall off, and continue doing whatever you were previously doing and expect your arm not to get cut.

Another area where I see misunderstanding along the healing process is people not understanding why things still come up or triggers still happen even though they’ve addressed them already.

Have you ever stubbed your toe on something? Hurts like hell doesn’t it?

Depending on how hard you hit your toe, you may stumble around for a bit being very mindful of any objects that may cause more pain should your toe bump up against it. As the toe heals and you get back into your everyday life you are no longer cautiously thinking about your toe----you’re just walking. Ten years down the road you stub your toe again, and once again it hurts like hell. Does this mean you didn’t heal it the first time? No, it just means maybe you got a little off course and bumped into something. The same is true with emotional healing. Just because you’ve healed an emotional wound or released a limiting belief (baggage) does not mean you may not be triggered by it again in the future if you get a little of course and bump into something (being triggered). It’s just a reminder to check in with yourself and address the wound (trigger) rather than guessing all the reasons to why it happened.

We can get distracted in the minute details or over analyzing aka analysis to paralysis and lose track of what’s at hand-----a trigger that needs looking at and addressed.

When we continue to pick at an old wound aka repeating our same old story (emotional baggage) over and over again and comparing any new wounds to it, we create bigger and deeper wounds that seem to never heal.

Please understand this, we can heal our emotional baggage and release our limiting beliefs, and through the process create newer, healthier ways of living for ourselves.

We can also get hurt and have emotional wounds in the future, which will need to be addressed and healed as well. There is no immunization that can be given that swears off all future emotional triggers or pains; there is only you and your willingness to address it right away before it turns into an emotional infection that requires additional treatments.

If you would like more information or assistance in healing emotional wounds that have held you back or kept you from living the vibrant life you’d like to live, then please schedule some time with me.