Move from Don't Want to Want
When making decisions around what you want moving forward, Life asks, “What are you willing to give up in order to get what you most desire?”
In that moment, proclamation of inspiration or desire seems enough. Answering life with astounding enthusiasm, “I want to give up ______________(fill in the blank)”.
We seem to be so lightening quick at knowing EXACTLY what we don’t want long before we can confidently say what it is we do want.
✔️I don’t want to be fat anymore.
✔️I don’t want to be broke anymore.
✔️I don’t want to be in an unhealthy relationship anymore.
✔️I don’t want to have anymore family problems/drama anymore.
✔️I don’t want to be stuck in this job anymore.
By time we weed through the list of all the ‘don’t wants’, it’s interesting how the list of ‘wants’, ‘desires’, ‘dreams’, ‘goals’, seem to flow less quickly and fluently. Why is that?
We’ve been conditioned to think in such a way, and with much repeated practice, it’s become automatic.
Because of this conditioning it’s quite possible you’ve placed yourself in a position (multiple times) where you operate from a ‘survival’ mode standpoint. This ‘survival’ mode position serves well under conditions that require an immediate need response----not a daily living response. Yet, so many find this to be the only means of living.
I can say there’s been times in my own life when I thought this ‘survival’ mode of living was living, not recognizing that it was merely existing rather than living. Big difference!
So, why do we fall in this delusional trap of ‘survival’ mode?
In my case, fear had more of a stronghold on my destiny than inspiration.
In retrospect, overcoming my own fear simply meant overcoming my own limitations. And the way I got past them was to power right over and through each and every one of them. Some I did alone, and others I needed support.
I needed new tools in order to work with the upgrading of my own existence. Continuing to use old tools with new equipment does not work, no matter how ingenious you think you are; it just doesn’t work.
Sure, those old tools might work at first, but eventually they stop working and you reach a standstill.
Reaching this standstill point is like coming to a divided path along the road. You are required to choose the direction. It’s as if Life is saying, “OK, you’ve come this far, now where do you want to go?” “Do you go the path that is most familiar---the path you just worked your ass off to evolve from?” or “Do you want to go the path you’ve not traveled, and continue to evolve?”
Ask yourself, “do I still live in a mindset that I don’t feel yet successful enough with _______(fill in the blank)”?
For me, no matter how many things I achieved within a day, a month, a year, a decade (and looking back it was/is a shit-ton) I always had this deep-seeded feeling I hadn’t accomplished enough.
That I wasn’t successful enough.
That I wasn’t “June Cleaver” of mothers enough.
That I wasn’t financially OK enough.
That I wasn’t thin enough.
That I wasn’t disciplined enough.
After all if I was, then all the aforementioned wouldn’t feel like I wasn't enough.
Sometimes it’s hearing or seeing the obvious that you say, “duh! I already know that”. Here’s the deal though, it doesn’t matter how well you know it, it matters only when you really do something about it.
Maya Angelou said, “When you know better, you do better”. Love this quote!
I’d seen those words, read those words, and heard those words for years, yet, never once gave myself an ounce of credit for recognizing any of the “better” I had created in my own life.
The day I recognized I was still holding a belief deep----DEEEEEEEEEP-----down inside that I wasn’t good enough was MIND BLOWING.
How on freakin’ earth did I not know that after all the work I had done on myself, I still felt on some level I wasn't good enough?
BECAUSE WE ARE WORKS IN PROGRESS! (Another mind blow)
I can say I did all the work myself, but NOT entirely by myself.
Looking back over my journey, I’m ever grateful I didn’t do it by myself. I don’t know that I would be where I am today if it wasn’t for my willingness to reach for it. I’d love to be able to paint a beautifully pain-free experience of this journey, but that would only be an observer’s viewpoint of a finished painting.
The artist, on the other hand, takes practice, patience, and a whole lot of work to create such an exquisite masterpiece.
Are you ready to move beyond your “don’t wants” and into your “this is want I do want”? I’d love to assist you along your way; schedule sometime with me.
The bird sleeps in the egg, the oak rests in the seedling, and in the highest vision of the Soul, a waking angel stirs.