Everywhere you look these days on any social media platform there’s someone sharing success advice.
Whether that is “Keys to Success”, “Success Strategies”, or “How to’s”, there is a common theme throughout that is centered on having a DESIRE and achieving it. This ranges from finding your one-true love, losing weight, living stress-free, to making a lot of money, etc.
The aforementioned requires a DESIRE on someone’s part to want one or all of the above. Then goals need to be set, intentions put into place, and ultimately action steps taken in order to achieve said DESIRE(s).
As a masterful mindset coach who works with clients in taming their Inner Critic (that irritating small voice within that reminds you of all the reasons you can’t or shouldn’t do something), there’s often a theme I see with clients and their inability to achieve their desires. It’s not because they are not capable. It’s not because they don’t have enough time or money. It’s not because their desire it unreachable. It’s their WHY for wanting that desire that is not in alignment with what they really want. Let me provide a couple of examples of what I mean by that.
Client 1 Example:
Client 1 came to me because they were having relationship problems. Their desire was to be in a healthy supportive relationship where both partners were happily and willingly participating in the relationship. We worked on goal setting, gaining clarity on where they were sabotaging their own success of achieving this desire. We identified past wounds that were now manifesting in their daily living through the inner dialogue of their Inner Critic, which reminded them why they didn’t deserve happiness.
They implemented tools and techniques, along with being consciously aware of when their self-defeating actions were causing problems. However, these things only served positively for short periods of time before they went back to old patterns and habits.
Client 2 Example:
Client 2 desired to lose weight, and when it came to goal setting, intention making, and action taking they were all in, but only for a short period of time. Every week they shared progress being made or not accomplished, and vowing to do better the next week.
Once again, the implementation of tools and techniques, along with being consciously aware of when their self-defeating actions were causing problems served positively only for short periods of time before they went back to old patterns and habits.
In both the above examples the clients were able to ultimately get their achieving their DESIRES, but not until they understood the importance of how STRONG their DESIRE needed to be in order to accomplish them.
Often times people have a desire to accomplish or achieve something and feel that’s sufficient enough for achieving it, and I’m here to share it’s not. For until this desire outweighs every excuse, every hindrance, and every other desire we have on our pathway the probability of obtaining it is 50/50 at best.
A STRONG DESIRE will feel like necessary oxygen to you. The following are examples of STRONG DESIRES.
How many know of women getting engaged, and desire to get in the best shape of their life for their wedding? I’m telling you this desire is so unbelievably strong that it’s nearly impossible to break her focus, her will, her desire to achieve this specific outcome. She knows what she wants, and immediately takes action to achieve this goal. There’s no wavering. There are no excuses. There are no obstacles she can’t tackling along the way to her DESIRE. It’s just a woman on a mission to be in the best shape of her life for her wedding day, PERIOD.
How many know of men who desire success? Being successful for them represents so many things e.g., confidence, respect, power, provider for their family, strength, etc. Nonetheless this DESIRE is so strong for some of them that they will forego having a serious relationship, forego spending money on trivial things, forego starting a family until they feel they’ve reached their desired level of success.
In both the above examples, the DESIRE for both parties is so strong, so focused, so mission driven they’ve ultimately set themselves up for success.
It’s when we have a desire without a lot of passion, purpose, and unshakeable focus behind it, when other desires take precedence. Moreover, it’s when this desire lacks the aforementioned that your Inner Critic sees it as a playground. A place where your Inner Critic plays with your emotions, thoughts, and feelings, which ultimately result in your desires dimensioning and ultimately failing.
The next time you have the DESIRE to achieve something ask yourself, “How badly do I want this?” “Does the need for this DESIRE feel like necessary oxygen to me?”
By determining in advance how important it is to accomplish what you want to accomplish, you’ll have a greater success rate in achieving it.
If you are struggling to reach your goals or desires, I’d love to be able to help you. I encourage you to get in contact with me for a breakthrough session.