Can you imagine being highly educated, holding a PhD for goodness sake, and still having a mindset of poverty, and lack of worth?
I can’t either, until a fateful day where the Universe and my ego collided, resulting in all kinds of mayhem in my life.
One of the beliefs and values I hold highly is that of education. For me life is certainly the longest form of education anyone of us will have, and still with all that education if your mindset isn’t clear of limiting beliefs aka “baggage” we are sure to get in our own way.
In 2003 I gave birth to my daughter, and within 6 weeks of her birth our world had been unexpectedly turned upside down.
My now “ex” decided he was stressed and needed a vacation, and quickly vanished out of the country, and our lives forever.
On maternity leave with a newborn and not exactly sure what I was going to do, I quickly formulated a plan to work from home so I could stay with her full-time. I contracted out my paralegal services, my notary public services, and administrative services to several different businesses that allowed me to work from home.
In 2007 the housing market crashed, and once again I was faced with making some decisions to continue taking care of my daughter, as family is another strong value of mine.
I opted to go back to college and finally obtain my PhD, which was a crazy ride raising a child on my own, working full-time, and being the sole provider for our family.
As I walked across that stage to receive my diploma, I just knew magically my life would improve tremendously with this piece of paper; this piece of paper that validated my intelligence and my worth.
However, as much as it validated my educational intelligence it certainly didn’t validate my worth, which ultimately lead down an upsetting, depressing, poverty stricken road.
Up until this time I was unaware of limiting beliefs or baggage or shadow sides of ourselves. Even while studying in school I wasn’t learning about these things, but rather about emotions and feelings and what they mean. Yes, information on how they impact our lives, but it never seemed clear to me that there was an actual way to release them or get rid of them-----like you were stuck with them for life----suck it up buttercup and deal with it.
I reached my "rock bottom" around 8 years ago.
Around eight years ago I found myself standing in a cold dingy government building with my young daughter by my side seeking assistance. I was mortified, ashamed, judgmental, and angry that I was standing here at this point in my life----that this is how my life was turning out, a poverty stricken doctor.
With the economic crisis that was happening all over the world, our incomes were being affected, and mine had brought me to a point of not being able to pay for our health insurance.
Looking back I can now see so clearly how I ended up there, but at the time I could not. I was too mad.
Mad I had been abandoned by my partner.
Mad that I was working my ass off with little to show for it.
Mad that I didn’t own a home.
Mad that I was always broke.
Mad that I was overweight and unattractive.
Mad that I kept picking unhealthy partners---so I just stopped.
You get the picture----I was just MAD.
Progressing forward I had started my own business, along with still having my coaching practice, which was anything but successful.
I mean honestly, how could it?
At that point in my life I thought of myself as a fraud because I didn’t have it all figured out, and I certainly didn’t have the things or looks to show for it.
Again, this was all mindset stuff----BAGGAGE beliefs, even if I didn’t consciously know what they were.
Did I mention I was mad?
In addition to doing the new business, I was continuing along my pursuit of wanting to be a successful coach, so I began studying with Dr. Matthew James and Dr. John Ryan on the subject matters of Neuro-Linguistics Programming, Hypnotherapy and Mental and Emotional Release®.
This is where my world started to shift drastically because of the work I was learning and doing around my mindset.
Learning nothing was “wrong” with me;
I was smart enough;
I was deserving enough;
I was worthy enough of getting out of my own way and succeeding however I wanted,
and as a result, changes began unfolding before my eyes.
Through the process of these proven techniques I was willing to investigate my own beliefs and values.
Being able to identify where these limiting beliefs had kept me stuck, and ultimately from what I desired.
Setting myself free under the direction and supervision of someone trained in these techniques allowed me to not only set myself free, but to be able to incorporate and do the same in my own coaching practice.
Let’s just say that was a GAME CHANGER.
My life improved.
My health improved.
My sense of worth improved.
My acceptance of my curvaceous body improved.
My willingness to feel sensual emerged.
My hair began to re-grow and shine.
My sense of humor returned unapologetically.
My relationship with money had shift-----now no longer a poor doctor.
My heart once again felt safe to be vulnerable.
My intuitive empathic nature came on full bore.
My clientele shifted, my friends shifted, my community shifted.
These training's along with my prior education and personal experience have definitely played an impactful role on my vibrant life, and yet these outside tools would be of no benefit if I hadn’t been willing to invest in myself.
Clearing up my limiting beliefs, those deep rooted unhealthy beliefs I subconsciously/unconsciously held about myself are now released. I’ve essentially set myself FREE.
No truer words have ever resonated so deeply with me than those of Dr. Nelson Madela, “As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn’t leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I’d still be in prison.”
This is what it feels like to release those limiting beliefs aka “baggage”, and walk a FREE individual.
I would like to be clear on something this process is something that doesn’t happen overnight.
YES, unequivocally, you can release your limiting beliefs, “baggage”, overnight, and you still have to do the work to effectuate the change.
It’s like being someone on medication for diabetes or high blood pressure, just because you get something to “manage” it, it’s YOUR responsibility to monitor it and maintain it healthily.
I love that I’m no longer bound with feeling unworthy, undeserving, not good enough, insignificant, unimportant, useless, and whatever other words I used to house deep within me, causing me to self-sabotage and relentlessly beat myself up.
I never realized how exhausting, debilitating, and unhealthy that was, and nor did I even recognize that I was playing a significant part of the destructive relationships I had been in.
It’s easy sometimes to think the reason stuff is happening to you is because of other people, rather than checking in to see what beliefs you're holding that’s allowing such chaos to interfere with your life.
Don’t get me wrong there are indeed people out there that are truly unhappy with themselves, and project that crap over everyone they can, and in the same vein it’s our duty to be mindful of it so we can do our own course corrections when needed.
Just like anything else we’ve experienced, it takes time and practice to implement new ways of being, new ways of thinking, and new ways of believing, which only happens when you take the first step towards changing your current mindset.
Some will judge me----which triggers a judgment about you.
Some will mock my vulnerability in sharing this----which actually triggers your own vulnerability.
Some will ridicule me----which is potentially a triggering of your own baggage around being bullied, shamed or laughed out.
Some will recognize themselves in my story-----and yet have too many reasons as to why they can’t do the same for themselves.
Some will resonate deeply----and finally find the courage to invest in them and do the same.
You, the deep resonators, are the ones I want to connect with and work side by side with you to release those limiting beliefs, and set you on your own course to freedom---whatever that may be.
Until next time know that I send you so much love,
Dr. KellyRae, Your Inner Critic Tamer