Spare Some Change?
The evolutionary journey of our life is an interesting experience. We are continually ebbing and flowing between who we are and who we are no longer.
We’ve challenged ourselves---our personal growth and development----from the time we were young.
As children our acceptance of our self didn’t seem to be a conscious thought, we just learned, implemented, and built momentum towards further growth.
Then, the awareness of others and what they were doing or saying became influential in our personal growth and development. Depending on the immediate outside influence of our personal world, the choices we made wielded many experiences for us.
With these variant experiences we’d encounter a disconnect from who we knew ourselves to be and who we were being conditioned to be.
Quite often we are not even aware of this disconnecting divide from who we are to who we’ve become as a result of limiting beliefs we’ve adopted from early on in our lives.
Throughout our journey it’s as if the Universe/God/Creator points out opportunities for us to look at these limiting beliefs through what is known as “triggers”. According to psychology a “trigger” is something that sets off a memory tape or flashback transporting the person back to the event of her/his original trauma. Triggers are very personal; different things trigger different people. The survivor may begin to avoid situations and stimuli that she/he things triggered the flashback.
These triggers as uncomfortable or as painful as they may be are beautiful opportunities being presented to us for our personal growth and development; a reconnection, so to speak, to our authentic self. They serve as an opening to look at and evaluate our beliefs, along with an opportunity to determine whether our beliefs are still relevant and applicable to who and where we are today with our current existence.
These triggers are an opportunity for us to step into our own power---the power we came into this planet with----once we release our limiting beliefs.
It’s been my experience that people are afraid to look at these triggers they’ve been reacting to for years. They know something is not working for them, and yet the fear of looking at it seems insurmountable.
The freedom that is found in releasing these limiting beliefs and stepping into your true authenticity is exhilarating, scary, and a process.
I see a lot of people get excited about the possibility of being out of pain, out of depression, out of feeling anxious, and yet knowing they have to do the process to change for a healthier life keeps them from moving forward.
Because of feeling of unworthy, undeserving, not good enough, and fear doing the work and remaining unchanged.
All of these feelings are genuinely real and extremely powerful as they are what have kept people from moving forward.
I knew a couple who got married right out of high school who were hardworking, had children, a home with land to grow a garden, raised animals, and were active in their local community. From an outsiders view they seemed like a happy family. Inside though, one of the family members was living out of alignment of who they really were because of the conditioning they had received early on in their life.
As so many of us do, we do the best we can do and live as well as we can based on how we’ve been conditioned to live because it’s all we know. After awhile, even if we don’t like the way we are living or like how we’ve been taught to live, we tend to do a few things 1) ignore it and push on through, 2) rebel against it (which can lead to other unhealthy extremes), or 3) attract others into our world to feebly work through our “issues” we aren’t even aware exists.
Because our conditioning begins so early in life we quite often don’t even question it or think about it until one of these “triggering” moments happen in our lives.
Back to our family mentioned above, the one living out of alignment with their true authentic self, did everything they thought they were suppose to do in order to be what they thought was “normal”. After nearly 20 years of marriage, raising kids, and being a productive member of society they reached a breaking point. They could no longer live the life they were living. Although they wanted to be “normal” according to their teachings, their actions and conflicting thoughts on their instilled beliefs were bubbling to the surface and in self-destructive ways, which rolled over into their family household.
A change needed to be made.
The first step towards changing anything requires willingness.
The first step is the exhilarating, scary part I mentioned earlier in the article.
Deciding to take the first step is not generally decided in a moment, it’s usually something that’s mulled over in your mind for a period of time.
It’s during this mull over period of time when you and your inner critic sit down at the proverbial round table and debate ALL the reasons you should or shouldn’t move forward with this first step.
This family member new they were living in conflict with who they were authentically, but because they were now in so deep into this environment (spouse, kids, community, etc.) they felt guilty, ashamed, and afraid to take this first step.
Taking this first step would require upsetting the “norm”, and that alone feels like a lot of pressure. Yet remaining unhealthy mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually is a tremendous amount of pressure and one that often leads to dis-ease.
Once we become aware through life’s triggers that maybe we are not living in alignment with who we truly are, the triggers seem to occur more frequently in order to get our attention.
After much self deliberation and life’s triggering of this family member, they finally made the decision to free themselves as well as their family, even though initially it felt nothing like freedom. They acknowledged out loud to them self and to their family they were gay.
Step 1, complete.
Steps 2 and 3 were now able to begin.
Step 2 was working through releasing limiting beliefs and baggage, along with forgiveness. This step also involves identifying, evaluating and filtering one’s values and beliefs.
Step 3 is doing the work to create a healthier you. This is the step where a lot of people lose momentum when trying to do it on their own.
Because of repeated conditioning and old behaviors it is much easier to fall back into previous ways of being.
The journey for the aforementioned individual began when they initially came clean with themselves and their family members, and yet the work to the happily ever after took time and dedication.
Today all members of that family are thriving and doing well. The person who made the decision to be true to them self is now in a happy, healthy relationship for them, and their former spouse is remarried and living more vibrantly than ever. Their children (adults now) are more open to talking about their thoughts, feelings, and emotions on a much deeper level, and are also doing well in their relationships.
It seems we are continually being brought to our core with these “triggers” that happen through our daily living, which are often ignored, stuffed down, or even pushed off onto someone else through our own unexpressed pain.
It’s never too late to come clean with yourself----to step into your true authentic self. It’s more of a matter of when are you going to give yourself permission to take the first step.
A simple quote that says so much, “Nothing changes if nothing changes”.
Are you willing to consider taking the first step?
Are you willing to talk about it?
Are you willing to let go of the pain, shame, guilt, and disappointment?
If you’ve answered “yes” to any of these 3 questions, then give yourself permission to schedule a call with me.